Time To Move On

Creepy Baby [via]

Michael Jackson’s memorial was held today marking the end of a 2-week long pop culture extravaganza. The passing of the King of Pop has been great for cable networks and even bottle-necked the Internet as people flock to find news, videos, and images of Jacko.

Personally, we’re not buying it.

True insiders like us know the Michael Jackson who died this year was his replacement. The real Michael left the public eye during the “Bad” tour and his replacement took over full time soon after.

Fearing he couldn’t deliver on the huge public demand for his music and everyday living, Jackson continued to sing the vocals of “Dangerous” but snuck away and left the public role as “King of Pop” to his apprentice. Old Michael assumed a new identity (which he’s been trying to achieve for many years) and disappeared.

His replacement is skillfully trained to assume his role. The new Michael uses plastic surgery and face masks to help conceal the differences but can’t hide the fact he likes little boys.

• In Pictures: Michael Jackson Funeral And Memorial
• Ching Chang Chong
• FOUNDRY CAMS: The Best, the Worst, and The CURSED [NSFW!!!]
• Top 13 moments of people taking a ball to the head
• New episode of House Arrest with Andy Dick with Keegan Michael Key (from MadTV)
• A solid hour of Creationist stupidity
• Viagra-Laced Coffee Best Part of Waking Up
• Carl’s Junior Spoof That Will Make You Lose Your Appetite
• WoW Freakout Kid video #3: The Birthday Truck
• Reindeer Band Photo
• Want Your 5 Minutes Back From A Bad Video? Here’s How
• The ‘Final Insanity – Cats’ Video Will Drive Us All Mad, You Fools, MAD!
• Newspaper article from 1991 on how video games are a dying trend
• Trailer For Patton Oswalt New Movie ‘Big Fan’ Is So Seriously
  Unfunny…Wait, What?
• Today I’ve got 5 Tips for Keeping Your Shoes in Top Shape.
• 5 Lies All Women Tell